Journal Entry 7

"So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' Your love put You through
And I will walk through the darkness
If You want me to"


Yes, here I am. Once again I've fallen deep, deep, deep to the darkness. 

ok, so what's this all about, God. what are all these darn things & emotions about?
Am I going to have another women's menstrual emotional moment? Or is this about playing games?
Cause, God, I don't have time to play games. 


Am I bipolar that I'm repeating the same season again? More condemnation & oppression upon my weak heart? So you make the whole world turn up against me. Who do I turn to for help? You? 
Abba, I'm so skeptical! Maybe I don't have the ability to hear with that spiritual ear. 


I have none to trust. So broken, so ashamed. I don't think I'll be able to do this any longer.
How come I'm so hurt? Why am I so dark...
I really think I'm alone.


I'm gonna put myself on podcast. See what I'll be reminded of. 


I need you to love me. But I'm so skeptical about love. I don't feel it anymore.


Abba, please rescue me.


-yours, Houa

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hello Please Comment!